Well where do I start? I guess I should start at the beginning and explain what happened the other day. Well to start with D and me had a huge argument. He was being distant with me for a few days but said I was the one being distant, I don’t know maybe we were both doing it. He wanted to know every little thing that was going on in my head and there were things I couldn’t tell him. He said obviously I didn’t trust him and left. I got upset then and didn’t want to talk to him. He said that I talk to everyone else but I never talk to him, which isn’t true because I do talk him more than I talk to anyone else. He just doesn’t understand that there are some things that are better left unsaid. I didn’t want to leave things that way so I told him we needed to talk. And I tried but we were just going around in circles, we weren’t getting anywhere. I was getting more upset and he was getting more frustrated. Then he said he couldn’t get his head around us keeping things from each other and said we should just be friends. So I threw the ring back at him and left. He called after me to come back, but I was too hurt and needed to be alone to cry. After a few marcs Sy told us to meet him and Hin at the hall, D went but I just couldn’t face it. I went in the end because I wanted to try and work things out. But we didn’t get anywhere. He said I should tell him everything and if I can only talk to one person it should be him. I tried to make him see that it wasn't that simple but he just didn’t get it. Things were weird between us in the guild after that and I knew there would come a point where one of us would have to leave. I said since D had been there from the start I should be the one to go, and then we had another argument because he said he would. I said I know well enough that you should never make any kind of decision when you are hurt or angry and we should give it a few days to calm down first.

I was like a zombie, I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t train, I couldn’t farm, all I could d was sit in the guild hall and think of him. My heart was shattered into a million tiny pieces and there was nothing I could do to take the pain away. I slept badly that night and couldn’t do anything when I woke. I spent the day sitting in the guild hall thinking about him and trying not to break down.

I must have fallen asleep because when I woke he was also awake, and I sent him a bird asking if we could talk. He met me in the hall and I asked if we could work it out. He said we tried talking and it got us nowhere. By this point I was crying, I told not to say it was over, it couldn’t be over. He just looked at me. I cried harder, I begged him, I pleaded with him I told him it was all my fault and he did nothing wrong. He said I needed to talk to him and I promised I would, then he held me tight and just let me cry. I can’t believe that I messed everything up, I almost lost everything. When I had finally stopped sobbing he gave me the ring back. He is so great and I almost lost him. So things are getting better again now I am training hard until I can farm the spider caves, and then that's all I will be doing for a while, until I have all my blue spells anyway.

Today has been the worst day of my life. There's nothing else I can say about it really.

**Drops of water have been splashed on this page**

Today has been a bit weird. I can’t really explain it. There is someone, and I won’t say who, but he has been very strange with me today. I don’t know what I did wrong, if anything, but he has been really distant with me and not how he usually is. I don’t think I've done anything wrong but there is still this nagging feeling in the back of my head that something is wrong. I asked him what was wrong but he said it was nothing he was fine, but I'm not convinced.

Apart from that we have had a blast tonight. You should see what I did to P’s hair, it is shocking pink, looks really good on him though, and he carries it well. He loves it.

I think I have finally given up my hunt for brown crystals. I know I probably need more but I don’t have enough ingots to fill the ones I've got. Anyway P was having trouble finding brown guardians so I helped him for a while. I found quite a few for him, they gave him mostly dulls but he did get a red glowie which was good. He is yet to find a dull brown though. I hope he gets one soon before he stops believing in them.

When I wake tomorrow I will be able to get back to my training. It will be so good to get back to it for a while, farming sends me a bit crazy sometimes. But it is something that needs to be done and I will soon be able to farm for my blue spells which will be great. I know it will take a long time to get them all so I will just have to learn patience, but at least I will get rich doing it.

I think I have been spending way too much time in the desert. The zombies are looking attractive now. I was talking to a few of them. D had to come and drag me away, said I was talking crazy. He might be right, I am so lucky to have him. We were talking about the bonding today . . . oh did I forget to mention that he asked me to bond with him? It was so romantic he did it with a poem, he is so sweet. So yeah, today we were talking about the bonding, who was going to do it, where we were going to have it, who we are inviting that kind of thing. The hardest thing is, the person who I really want to be there can’t be there. My best friend in the world and she won’t be able to make it. I do understand why she can’t be there, but I will miss her.

I have to say, being in this guild is a lot more fun than I thought it would be. I mean after the trouble we had not so long ago, I won’t go into details. So I just blame P for everything, it is really funny sometimes. Everyone else has started blaming him for everything too now. He even gets blamed when he isn’t around. I would feel sorry for him but it's too funny.